What if I never became a fangirl?

8:13 PM
Friday

now playing: C'mon - Panic! At The Disco Ft. fun.

Hello again. 

A few minutes ago, I was scrolling through my timeline on Twitter then I suddenly asked myself: 

What if I never became a fangirl? 

What if I never found out about all of these fabulous bands that saved/ruined my life? 

...what if?

How did it all start anyway? Back in 2007, I found out about Fall Out Boy because I was flipping through channels and MTV caught my eye. Why? I was attracted to Patrick's angelic voice. Thnks Fr Th Mmrs was on and I was kind of weirded out at first with all the chimps and eyeliner and what-not. A lot of thoughts were running through my 10 year old mind back then.

Who are they? 

Fall Out Boy? What? 

Monkeys...?

Is that Kim Kardashian?

I like his voice. That dude playing the bass.......................hot damn. (yes, I was 10. So what?) 

Yada yada yada.

now playing: Always - Panic! At The Disco 

On my birthday, August 18th to be exact, of 2007, I asked my dad if he could buy me Fall Out Boy's current album, Infinity On High. He said yes and as soon as I got home, I plugged in my CD player, popped the CD in, and immediately pressed play. I loved it. I loved it a whole fucking lot. From that day on, I became a fan of Fall Out Boy. I became a fangirl. There was no. Going. Back. 

I used to have a floppy disk. Yes, a floppy disk, filled with pictures of Fall Out Boy and lyrics to their songs on MS Word saved. That floppy disk is long gone. (I lent it to Camille and Camille lent it to her brother and he didn't want to give it back. Well then.)

now playing: Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous - Good Charlotte

I also started listening to Paramore, Green Day, Blink 182, Incubus, My Chemical Romance, and Panic! At The Disco in 2007. I borrowed my friend's copy of All We Know Is Falling and Riot! I declared Paramore as my favorite band that year. Still is. Kinda? Ish? 

We didn't have broadband back then, just dial-up connection. Sucked balls, really. So I had to settle for MTV and listening to the radio. I remember flailing and jumping up and down whenever MCR or P!ATD came on. Oh, did I tell you that I had my emo phase back in the 4th grade? Yeah. Kinda explains all of...this. 

now playing: Slow Down - The Academy Is...


I lost my interest in bands in the 5th up to th 6th grade. Kinda stupid. I started listening to Pop and....and......and.....


K-Pop.

I'm not fucking around. I started listening to K-Pop and it was scary as fuck. Listening to Girl's Generation and G-Dragon. Oh my God. I cannot even with myself. 

I still listened to Paramore and Fall Out Boy, but I didn't fangirl over them anymore. All that changed when I met Tamiya in the 2009. I found out that she liked Paramore. No, scratch that. She loved Paramore just as much as I did. Maybe even more. We went to see Paramore Live in Manila in 2010 with Nina and her older brother. It was fab. (Josh wasn't with them and that was the sad part, but all in all, it was faboo!) 

now playing: She Moves In Her Own Way - The Kooks

She got me listening to bands again, even introduced me to some. I remember when she sent me songs by All Time Low and Breathe Carolina. Break Your Little Heart  was the first All Time Low song I've ever heard and at that very minute, I declared myself a fan. Still am. 4 years, man! Cried when I had to sell my ticket to their show back in 2011...why? 

1) It's All Time fucking Low.
2) It was a VIP Patron A ticket. 
3) I was supposed to be seated/standing 9 rows from the stage and on Jack motherfucking Barakat's side. Ugh.


Don't even get me started with all the other bands she introduced me to.

 2010. Tumblr. You find a lot of indie/hipster/punk rock shit. 

now playing: Cut Me Off - Austin Gibbs & The States

The Maine? Never Shout Never? We The Kings? The Summer Set? Every Avenue? This Century? We Are The In Crowd? Forever The Sickest Kids? Mayday Parade? A Rocket To The Moon? The Ready Set? The Kooks?  She introduced me to all of 'em!

 I remember when she invited me to go to LIV3 ATC show with her in 2011. Never Shout Never, The Maine, and We The Kings. Back to back concert. For free? I was hesitant at first, but then I thought "Fuck it, I am so fucking going!" We were there as early as 9am just to get tickets because the mall opens at exactly 10am and ugh. Never forget cellulite bitch. I'll elaborate on her some other day. We met new friends like Mariel and Meia and we met Meg! We had her throw Tamiya's brand new shirt with our names onstage. They said Pat Kirch of The Maine caught it. Well, hope he did. That shirt was fucking rad, okay. IT HAD MICHAEL JACKSON'S FACE ON IT!

now playing: Everything I Ask For - The Maine

I had my fair share of bands that I've introduced to her, like The Academy Is... and....well, that's it. Wow, I suck. Still! I thought William Beckett was really attractive in their About A Girl music video. He still is. He's damn fine. 

If I elaborate more on this, it's take really long. Too long. 

I'm pretty sure you've already stopped reading, but whatever. I'm not really here for your entertainment. As I said in my previous post, this is my outlet. Mine.

now playing: 7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen) - Fall Out Boy 


My music library has broadened. It's almost at big as the Pacific Ocean. (Corny joke. Shut up, Gyanna.)

I listen to a lot of different genres now like Punk Rock, Rock, Metal, Post-Hardcore, Indie, Pop Punk, Punk, Indie Rock, Hardcore, and Alternative. Mostly Alternative and Punk Rock. 


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But!

I haven't answered the main point of this post. Yep, pretty stupid. 

What if I never became a fangirl?

I would've never met all of these wonderful people. Twitter friends, Tumblr friends, concert buddies...musical soulmates. 

now playing: Anklebiters - Paramore (Ut-oh! This hasn't been officially released. Ha ha ha. Bad fan.)

I wouldn't have ever met SHG. They're the best ever. Dead serious. Nope, not telling you what SHG means. We were formed because of All Time Low and that's all you have to know.

I would've never been close to Martina or Bettina or Ge. Well I was already friends with them, but we weren't as close we are now. 

I wouldn't have a lot of friends. 

I wouldn't have friends at all. 

I know what you're thinking...

Of course you'd still have friends! You don't live under a rock or anything!

That's the thing. I'm so awkward and shy in real life that I might as well be living under a rock. I'm closer to my internet friends than my friends at school. Most of them are fake. I only have a few that are real. With that being said, I rest my case.

now playing: Therapy - All Time Low
If I was never a fangirl, I guess my life would be pretty worthless. I'm not kidding. I'll be one of those kids. Kids who just go with the flow. Kids who conform to what society dictates them to be. I'd probably one of those girl who wears what's "in". Don't get me wrong or anything. Trends aren't bad, but they aren't all that good, y'know? Like, milk tea? It isn't actually healthy. You're defeating the purpose of tea with milk. (Why am I even rambling about this...?)

I dunno. 

My thoughts often get to me. 






My blog posts will never be organize. I keep straying, but whatever. 

Please out. 

Hmm, first post...?

4:00 PM
Friday

now playing: Honest - The Morning Light

Hello.

You're here because:

1) I may have linked this blog to my Twitter (but that's just fucking stupid, but I'm stupid enough to do it) or
2) You were wondering if I owned a blog here and you typed my name.blogspot.com (Unlikely.) or
3) You don't even know how the fuck you got here. (How is that even possible? It's the internet, I know. Still?)

Either way, you're here. Hello again. 

I honestly do not know why I made another blog...maybe because I needed a new outlet? Writing in a small notebook is pretty tiring, you know? Twitter's too.....blah. Facebook is just, no. Just. No. Tumblr? Sure, but I wouldn't write blog posts there. 

I need an outlet. Everyone needs an outlet. Bottling up all those emotions and thoughts inside of you isn't good. It could drive you insane. 

A few days ago, I found this small journal I've had since Sophomore year. Not the "Dear Diary, blah blah blah" kind of journal. In this small hardbound notebook, I write. (Obviously.)

now playing: All I Wanted - Paramore

I write my thoughts in prose or poetry or sometimes a little bit of both. I write quotes from books & movies. I write lyrics from songs. I write the words of famous writers and my favorite band members. Most of them from Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy and Austin Carlile of Of Mice & Men.

Sometimes I write things that might scare you or make you think twice about the things you say to me. Such a small notebook...yet it holds such huge thoughts. 


now playing: Compromising Me - William Beckett

It's almost full and like I said, writing is pretty exhausting. I now turn to the fast paced Internet world. Typing and all. The only thing I don't like about having a blog is that others can see this. Like you. I know what you're thinking... 

"Why don't you just make this a private blog, you dumbass?"

Well, fuck off. I don't like private blogs and accounts. I'm complicated, okay.


now playing: You're Crashing, But You're No Wave - Fall Out Boy

I used to write blog posts to just vent. Venting is great. Yep.
I don't even know why I'm still writing.
I'll just stop.
This is just my first post anyway. 

now playing: Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore 

I'm supposed to wash the dye out of my hair like 30 minutes ago? I should go do that.


Please out. (not 'Peace out')